Richard GG

The Bumpers…

I hate bumping in to people I don’t want to see; it’s on par in fear terms with the thought of Cosmetic eyelid surgery … Yeah, It really puts a downer on my day and I’m sure you get that. You know how it is, you’re walking down the road minding your own business (or more specifically the path / side-walk, as you have no right to be minding your own business if you’re daft enough to walk down the More

Doodling

Ah, that great word. That word symbolic of time spent at school doing things that one should not, at the back of the class-room, engrossed in full concentration on the task in hand. The doodle: king of art in all text-books. The doodle: the thing which can make even the dullest of lessons just about bearable! (I said just about: they weren’t always; especially if your pen ran out right at the start of doodling and you had to listen More

Strange

I am feeling strange. And for very good reason. It begins like this: this morning I went to get the bus to work. Getting the bus to work, as anyone who hasn’t got the bus in many, many years will know, is a horrendous experience similar to the thought of dinner with Hitler, or a metrosexual skin care party. Not only do you have to deal with all the deranged people that you must share breathing space with, but you More

Almost…But Not Quite

Throughout my life I have been known as someone who is, and this annoys me to type it, ‘a bit fussy’. It’s rubbish, of course. I am not ‘a bit fussy’! It’s extremely simple and non-confusing: I am actually just an average man who wants things done a certain way. What’s wrong with that? I ask you. Nothing! Nothing at all! A man without his preferences is little more than just legs and arms and torso and head (which is More

Them Damn Namers

Everyone is different, I understand that. I wouldn’t want to live in a world where everyone is the same (unless they were the same as Pamela Anderson and I was a fifteen year-old boy, of course, in which case of course I damn well would). But why, oh why, can’t people, when they are introducing themselves at a party, not just say their name normally? Maybe it’s just me, but I have noticed a frightening trend. One where someone introduces More

Essential Ethics

I don’t drink tea outside of my home anymore. A strong statement, yes, but I have my reasons. You see, tea is far too special to be drinking just anywhere. Drink it anywhere and it becomes cheap. You wouldn’t take your Sunday roast dinner—normally eaten pride fully at the family table in the atmosphere such things require—out on a street corner and eat it would you? No way! That’d be unthinkable, and would probably get you a reputation pretty quick, More

A Divide

I’m feeling slightly deflated. But I have good reason to feel so! I’ve just learnt that the UK (and I am an Englishman through and through) isn’t exclusive to having a North / South divide–apparently the US also has its very own! And it would have to have one, wouldn’t it? And a fair bit geographically bigger too. For us it’s mushy peas up North and–well–no mushy peas down South. In the States it’s slightly different…

Divide or not, More