I am feeling strange. And for very good reason. It begins like this: this morning I went to get the bus to work. Getting the bus to work, as anyone who hasn’t got the bus in many, many years will know, is a horrendous experience similar to the thought of dinner with Hitler, or a metrosexual skin care party. Not only do you have to deal with all the deranged people that you must share breathing space with, but you have to pay a hell of a lot for the privilege. But anyway, that wasn’t why it was a total nightmare. No, the reason why it was a total disastrous nightmare—only equaled by my first attempt at sexual intercourse back in the eighteenth century—was because I came across a very strange couple at the bus-stop. Very strange indeed–
Now, I like to think of myself as a fairly open-minded individual. But my sixty years on this earth were apparently nowhere near enough. No, what happened was this: I arrived at the bus-stop to find a man standing with a chain around his neck, and a woman next to him holding a chain connected to the man’s neck. Yes, two humans playing at being owner and dog. This was not what I expected to see at
I could have taken it had the man and woman been dressed in the terrible style of the gothic, but alas the reality was far more disturbing: they were wearing suits, you see. As I approached they said good-morning to me, and then I stood there paralyzed by shock and wondering what I should do.
